The Puzzle of my Existence
by Belfhy
Summary: When you live in a world that constantly keeps asking you to confront your greatest fears and to fight for what you believe in, you can easily get discouraged. Everyone would think it is the exact opposite...." Main pairing is HinataGaara. All Naruto char


"**The Puzzle of My Existence"**

Declaimer: I do not own Naruto

**Note:** I hope you guys enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

_**Summary:** When you live in a world that constantly keeps asking you to confront your greatest fears and to fight for what you believe in, you can easily get discouraged. Everyone would think it is the exact opposite: you should try your best to overcome those obstacles standing in your way to reach self-actualization and to prove everyone else that what they perceive about you is completely wrong. However…how can you do your best when you know that no one is covering your back and lending you a helping hand, when your father despises you and society labels you as weak? _

**Here is the story of a girl who had to defeat her inner incompetent self to accomplish her dream. **

It was just another ordinary day in the life of Hyuuga Hinata. Slowly waking up under a robust tree surrounded by the beauty of nature, she started breathing in morning's pure air while opening her eyes to contemplate the marvelous sunrise. "It sure is rewarding sleeping outdoors," she thought, carefully walking towards the nearby hot spring to freshen up her body while listening to the birds' melodies. She could have stayed at an inn instead of sleeping outside like a primitive creature, but she was so obstinate about staying outdoors to experience Earth's natural luxuries, that no human soul was capable of convincing her to do otherwise. She wanted to relish herself in all of those things that humans take for granted, which are rarely appreciated and most of the time ignored. Well, it is better to say that because they are always there, there existence, along with their significance, is forgotten. But not for Hinata, she cherished even the most insignificant object existing over the face of the Earth.

Two days ago, she had left the Forrest Valley to return to Konoha; the place she proudly called home. She was supposed to be at Konoha by now but since she had no desire, whatsoever, to hurry all the way back there, it was taking her longer than expected.

It had been three years since she had abandoned Konoha in search of her most aspired dream: to discover her reason for existence. She knew it was definitely impossible to pursue her dream in Konoha since countless horizons were impatiently waiting for her to discover them if she was just courageous enough to embark into the journey to find them. After all, the world is not only white and black; it is a mixture of colors that makes it complex and uncertain when compared to Konoha. For years, she had wonderer around so many fascinating places, met different people, and with each experience gained; an insight into a new distinct emotion growing within her was born. But still, that was not enough. Hinata now knew that what it mattered were not all those things that she had learnt, that what truly mattered was having those special people that will always welcome her with open arms no matter what the circumstances. That is another reason why she was returning to Konoha. She wanted to know if she had a "special" someone waiting for her back at home.

"I wonder what they would think of me when they see me now," she pondered, looking at her wobbly reflection in the spring. "I feel that I have changed, but a part of me has always remained the same," she uttered, with a soft and confident voice that no longer carried that stuttering flaw that identified her. Certainly, she had become a beautiful young woman; the most pure and delicate human being living on Earth. Ironically, her outer beauty was left to a blind man's imagination since Hinata never really bothered to show her feminine side by opting to wear conservative clothes that efficiently hid her womanly figure. After all, a girl's enigmatic personality is what makes men desire her more.

Removing her clothes, she readied herself to enter the hot spring. "Ahh, there is nothing better than a warm bath to peace my body and mind…' she said, sinking herself in the water and pulling up her long strands of hair so that they would not get wet. She still wondered why she had let her hair grow past her waist. Maybe it was because of her family; everyone had long hair except her. "I hope everyone will do all right without me," she calmly added, feeling somewhat worried. Undoubtedly, what was more admirable than her outer beauty were her inner strength and her caring nature. In her sojourn in the Forest Valley, she had gotten attached to so many kinds of people who made her feel at home. Since one of her specialties was medicine, she diligently worked tending the wounded in the village's hospital and teaching herbal medicine to future medical ninjas. And now, she was going to leave all that behind to return to her roots, to help those that needed her most back at home.

"In the time I had been gone from Konoha, I was able to acquire powers beyond my understanding; concealed talents that lied deep within the dark depths of my heart that just waited to be awaken, and now…," she reflected, intently staring at the water, "…I have finally deciphered the puzzle of my existence," she added, closing her eyes and submerging her body deeper into the spring. It was so ironic how strong she was, yet her physical appearance told a completely different story. Patients at the hospital who did not know her, ventured to say that she was a gullible young girl who was unable to protect or cure anyone. But their mindset quickly changed when she relieved them of their painful misery by alleviating their pain. To say the least, that was the only "obvious" way in which she was able to demonstrate some of her strength since she had renounced to her Gunin title and to her passion of becoming a ninja when she left Konoha; what meant that she no longer had to fight in any tournaments to ascend to ninja ranks. And now, she did not conserve any regrets about that decision. She believed it was the right one because she did not have to be a ninja to help people; she only needed the power to do so. Yet, it was extremely hard for her to made people in Konoha village understand that since what they treasured the most were ninjas.

Reminiscing over her childhood years, Hinata now understood that one of the things that prevented her from acquiring her true potential was her failure to comprehend and accept the rules imposed by her family. After all, she should had known better that since she was the daughter of the leader of the Hyuuga Main House, the expectation of her becoming the head of the Hyuuga Main House in the future was automatically going to be bestowed upon her shoulders. That was the downfall of being born into the most powerful and feared bloodline of Konoha village. Everyone wanted her to follow into her father's footsteps so that she could had been worthy of carrying the reputation of her family's last name, which not only symbolized the continuation of the Hyuuga clan, but it also demonstrated the domination of the bloodline over the other clans. After all, being a Hyuuga by blood was not a difficult task; becoming a skillful Hyuuga was what turned life into a nightmare.

Hinata still remembered how for thirteen years, she was forced to digest all of the disdainful comments and glares that belonged to those that thought of her as an inferior member of the Hyuuga clan for being weaker than her sister, Hanabi. When practicing with her father and teammates, she always tried her best to improve her skills, but in competition, her efforts were only able to take the form of failure. It was so disappointing for her to have wasted a lot of energy in practice to become better, yet when she was forced to face her challenges; it still was not enough to overcome them. Day after day, she found herself digging a dark hole where the only destination was failure to change herself. She had almost reached her point of giving up, and she had no one to blame but herself.

She knew that it was unquestionably true that she lacked the self-confidence needed to discover her hidden talents, but what she needed the most was for people to understand that she was not fit to be a ninja. They only pointed fingers and always indicated her mistakes and told her to improve. Not bothering to take into account that Hinata's flaw was that she could not hurt anything; she was too pure and innocent to have being able to harm something. Besides, no one even took the time to ask her what her interests were. They just set a path for her to follow and they expected her to walk through it alone. She thought it was unbelievable unfair for other people to decide other people's lives, but now she finally understood that that is how the world works and she just has to learn to accept that. After all, it is not like they were going to be able to govern her life forever; just until she was able to reason and gathered up the courage to make her own choices. And that is what she exactly did by running away. It is true that escaping was not the best solution, but what she needed was time. When she realized that she had the opportunity to minimize the time that was going to take her to reach their skill level by abandoning Konoha to explore the world, she did not think twice. It was too good of an opportunity to be missed.

"Am I really prepared to meet them again?" she thought, standing up and getting out of the hot spring while draping a white cloth around her soaked body. She sure hurt many people when she left Konoha since she was not brave enough to tell anyone that she was running away from them; from those that made her feel like a mediocre being that did not deserve to be a ninja. There was no doubt that the people who supported her were few, but they all did it out of pity, and that is one of the hardest things that she had to accept. "I should not doubt my abilities anymore. I became strong to help those weaker than I, not to be better than everyone else," she whispered, slowly dressing up in a white satin dress.

"I should get going if I want to get there by dusk," she stated, lifting her healing bag from the ground and putting it back on. "Dad, did you miss me?" she sadly asked herself, slowly glancing towards the road that she was supposed to travel. She perfectly knew that it was pointless to ask herself an answered question, but she still hoped for the answer to change. If three years ago, her father did not care about her since he had Hanabi, who was five years younger than she was, and according to her father, much stronger than Hinata could have ever hoped for, then why would her father miss her now? That is what saddened her the most, but she still wanted to have faith in him. For a long time she had thought that the only way that she could prove to her father that she had improved, it was to defeat those that make her look weak; her sister and her academy classmates. However, she always lost to them. Of course she got a perfect score for trying, but that did not matter if the training did not pay off. "But now, I do not have to defeat anyone since I am not a ninja any more and because…" she confidently said, beginning to walk through the forest, "…I no longer have anything to prove to you, father."

Indeed, there was only one person to whom Hinata definitely needed to show her true potential; the only person who believed in her and supported her unconditionally. "Naruto…" she sighed, elevating her gentle gaze towards the cerulean sky. "I owe it all to you; you…you made me believe in accomplishing what other people thought of as impossible. You showed me that a lack of confidence develops from the fear of not wanting to fail to meet someone else's expectations. You taught me that in order to help those that you care for, you first have to defeat those demons of pessimism that constantly keep harassing you and become strong..." she uttered, lowering her eyes while a warm smiled formed on her lips, "…but most importantly, Naruto…you taught me to never lose sight of my dream. Because of all of that, you will always have a special place in my heart," she shyly said, starting to walk back again on the path that promises to guide her to her final destination.

Note: Feel free to review this chapter. All constructive criticism is greatly appreciated it. Grammatical errors are found in every single paper, so please, just let me be imperfect! J/K, he he. If you came across any, you are welcome to point them out.

Author's comment: This is a Hinata-centered fanfiction. Of course, ALL Naruto characters are going to be featured here, so this promises to be a LONG fanfiction. So for those readers who actually liked the story, be patient; characters' introductions are extremely important because they set up the mood for the story plot.

Chapter 2 Preview: Hinata arrived at Konoha after a long journey and what she expected to find was not what her eyes were showing her.

Ta ta


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